Chapter 56: Becoming a Mule

The clanking Lambton knight came by again, this time behind the hedge in the property’s back yard. He didn’t stop there, power-walking onwards and sounding frustrated, stopping and steaming and snorting like a bull at the intersection before choosing another direction.

Even if Elder Mother was babbling at the moment, I wasn’t sure that I could just run off now as intended. That knight was close, but in this house I was welcome and human as far as tutelaries went. One step off the property would resume the chase.

Crammed under the rafters with a slanted beam pressing against my slanted back and the points of nails scraping against my head, with a bed of pink insulation below the lattice of old boards digging into my ass, I heard the house’s mortal inhabitants come and depart again in a second vehicle, just picking up something. Nancy Belmont calculated that this was a weekday, which was lucky.

My body wanted to sleep, uncomfortable as I was. I had been awake since Guelph, and just being totally alert on the bus had been draining.

“Alright … time to fly with my head. Nocome, it’s time that you returned to the wild mindscape yonder. Get out or die, and please let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.”

You underestimate the lengths that the tutelaries will go for me, kavdlunait. Tonight you will beg me for help.” But these words were the extent of her resistance, even when I added:

“And I’m keeping your infiltrator. I’ll see if he can talk, or fit in.”

Tonight,” she simply repeated, but she was escorted to the outer boundary of my immediate consciousness and successfully struck on the ass by the door as instructed. Looking in as I looked out the gate, I saw her simply reach both hands to the surreal sky of the semi-conscious and get sucked away, a piece of debris in a tornado. We’d see if she enjoyed her homecoming.

“Strip search, isolate, interrogate … and then accommodate the new guy. I think Daphne should do the last. Bergmann, Hoyt, Luce, Belmont, Tucker, Wallstone, Naresh: we are going to be eavesdropping on the city’s mind-babble.”

Arnold Tucker had been an air traffic controller. Cynthia Wallstone had taken 911 calls for years in Sudbury. Naresh Salehi, my more recent meal in Kawartha Lakes, would help me in case there was a lot of Indian speech to decipher – there’s plenty of it among mortal Torontonians. (I knew that there were many different Indian languages, but he was my only recruit from the subcontinent).

When I had given Nocome enough control to allow her to make a desecration spell with the sundog’s blood, this sealed the fate 617 animals across Toronto and Mississauga. That was the big headline on the tutelary ‘newspaper’ flapping around the city. In their sudden fit of madness the dogs had given me more reason to never take a whiff of advise from the wendigo bitch ever again: 42 people maimed, one man in critical condition, one of the maimed victims a girl of nine. An accident near the university had been caused by cars swerving to avoid one of the crazed beasts, though no one was hurt there.

There was an entire gang of Movember men calling for my head. It was their month of power, and there were a lot of the unshaven fuckers. The tutelary that Nocome and I had tossed off a skyscraper onto University Avenue wasn’t dead because he had already been dead like the rest of us – but he was unavailable for interviews, apparently shaken up by the whole experience, and he’d need a new mortal guise. They way they spoke of this made it sound like a mortal appearance for a tutelary was very expensive.

The Lambton knight was just one of 14 different mid-ranking tutelaries in the city who were being castigated for roaming out of their neighbourhoods after supposedly getting my scent, causing property damage or startling the mortals in their frantic searching. Two unnamed spirits had come to a brawl at Casa Loma over the trespassing and some personal history that was being kept hushed, further distracting the hunters. It seemed that there were a multitude of false sightings and alarms happening in and outside of Toronto, with hunters still wasting their time in Milton and the fish-gnomes in a few other lakes boiling up to swarm the land and need knocking back. In Sudbury there was a burning building that the Christian and Algonquin tutelaries blamed on each other.

The Movember men’s most vocal complainer, a hatchet-faced spirit who looked like the middle guy in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, accused the hospital tutelaries of consorting with night-kin, and stated that the ‘student’ night-kin given free passage and extra hours for hunting their vogelfrei were the ones causing all the false alarms among the other tutelaries. ‘Night-kin’ was a catch-all for vampires, wendigos, skinwalkers, and anything else unpleasant. This detail made my skin crawl, because I had had zero sense of anyone like myself being nearby. But now I knew what Belie and those two mortals had been talking about in the room with the mastiff: of course Belie wouldn’t stoop to finishing me off himself.

I was a school assignment.

The tutelaries didn’t call me ‘vogelfrei’, or they didn’t anymore: for them I was the Angry Son. Cursing out Dr. Best in Gravenhurst, calling the fish-gnomes ‘kermit cocksuckers’ in Lake Simcoe, cunt-punting Anne Shirley, lacerating the faith of the spuds in southern Quebec and clobbering Deer Woman in our first encounter seemed to add up to a justified reputation – though everything had felt somewhat justified on my end. I noticed that the tutelaries outside the Land of No Trees often called me ‘Son of the Angry’, but there were fewer of them talking in Toronto.

There was nothing about Elder Mother, and nothing more direct about this Belie.

Down in the smaller articles of gossip, a tutelary named Mr. Thomson claimed to have spotted me in Algonquin Park. Odds were that he was Tom Thomson, the drowned painter. He suggested that I wasn’t actually a furious psychopath, though he noted that I had been rather crazy with the exercise. There were a lot of derisive comments about me trying to get stronger ‘like a human’. If I ended up dead in the next few hours, my epitaph would be something like this quip from a tutelary:

“He’s a reclusive incel who’s idea of fun is to go into the wilderness and lift shit. That’s why he is so hard to find!”

Snapping awake, I banged the back of my head hard on a beam in the attic’s roof. I waited and listened before groaning and cursing in pain. My day-night sense said that sundown was less than two hours away, and the smell in the air said that rain was coming.

As far as I could tell, I was still safe and smelling like a human in here. I could have left as soon as the Lambton knight had wandered off, but I’d wasted time checking to see if things were safe. But now I was rested, so tonight’s sprint out of Toronto would be a fun bit of high-speed sightseeing. I’d follow Bergmann’s advice, and make for the Niagara Escarpment. But this time I resolved to get on the Escarpment and travel its length for a time, so any trackers following me that far or relying on flying heads would stay confused.

“Well, I’ll say goodbyes for all of us,” I whispered to any watching presences confined to the shadows and the edge of my vision when I was under their protection. I was reluctant to leave, but there was extra bit of motive here: I didn’t want these spirits who had known me as a child to see me at night as a undead monster. It would be like having your grandparents catching you drunk and on the hunt for a partner.

The living people below came home for supper and then congregated around the television two floors beneath me – slipping down through the attic panel in the second floor ceiling in a hallway and then to the window to peak a bit and then scamper out was easy, as my senses and skills were mostly awake already.

If I had left through the back yard a very different undead life would have been mine – it would have ended on March 8th of the coming year, but it probably would have been much more comfortable. By leaving through the front yard I instead got to look at the spot where the new people had cut down the old tree I remembered, where I had planted the elderberry, and see the dug-up and empty hole.

Yes – call me the Angry Son, one and all. That’s exactly what I was.

I slithered between the dull, off-season greens in the Lambton Country Golf Course come nightfall, looking for a damn elder tree, wanting to tear down or uproot each tree or bush that Helen Forgrave said was not the right one.

Nancy Belmont was still the only one in my head who knew anything about Elder Mother in folklore, but she didn’t know if I was supposed to guard the berry. If just planting completed the vow – which was what my memory of the exact wording said – then I was in the clear from her. Someone digging it up afterward was not my responsibility. Then I only had to worry about the fact that the other tutelaries – informed about the whole elderberry business through the Anne-thing at Uxbridge – now knew which house had guardians that I had known in life, and that those tutelary hunters were at least somewhat cooperative with creatures of the night who were ‘murdering, torturing sons of bitches’ according to Monsieur Paradis. That’s what I should have worried about more immediately, but in my panic I was selfish and I could barely think about that while this first question remained unanswered.

Did I trust an ancient tree-spirit to be technical? The intent behind the words was pretty obvious: there was supposed to be a tree there one day. I was fairly sure that I was boned.

“Maybe you can just go to a supermarket and plant ten berries, or a hundred berries,” Nancy suggested. But Daphne Laframbois thought that would be futile. I had desecrated that berry by accidentally eating it, so that berry had to be spiritually cleansed. Worse yet, her new friend agreed. John Goose – the Ojibwe hunter Nocome had consumed with a previous host (and name) shortly after the War of 1812 – was apparently giving a lot of interesting lore about Nocome’s other captives, none of which I could focus on at the moment.

Helen finally found an elder tree, which looked more like a leafless bush ready for winter, about twenty yards from a sand trap filled with many frustrated prints and wedge-marks. Fifty years ago my grandfather – golfing in a lot of pictures – had probably been muttering to himself on this spot. I got on my hands and knees and crawled up to the ‘tree’, sniffing, my nose burning at the scent. Yes, when this tree made berries they were not for eating. A stake made of this wood wouldn’t bounce off my chest either.

“Elder Mother, can we talk?”

This felt so silly. The stinging sensation in my nose from being so close to the bush was growing nearly unbearable. I was avoiding cherry and maple trees for a similar reason, and this felt like I was trapped on the very edge of sneezing, for minutes and minutes of imploring the spirit to answer.

Then she made things worse by sending two wooden prongs right up my nose, hooking deep to lift me up with her arboreal avatar.

” … ow.”

The leafless branches scratched at my neck, then my chest, trying to pull me closer to crush me.

“I should have unknit you at Uxbridge,” the old witch intoned through the bush.

“Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow.” Blood was pouring from my nostrils and sticking to the wood like sap, though it was just the surface red blood.

She pushed me away, releasing my nose. “You failed,” she told me, as I blew bloody snot on the course’s groomed grass. “And you multiplied your debt a thousand-fold in your failure. The redskin urchins ripped up every single berry fallen to the ground in the city once they saw that they couldn’t find you and your berry before you could move on!”

I rudely laughed back at her. The drumming ohdows had swept Toronto clean of fallen or planted elderberries – but the one they had taken from me was one of a thousand, and they didn’t know which was mine!

My family was still safe!

“So let’s talk about debt,” I said, once I was done laughing. “Keep those twigs out of my nose. I’ve got some rules for you.”

The bush shivered furiously. “You are in no position-” 

I cut through that babble. “I’ll take the pain and rip this plant out of the earth if you try that again. I’m mad, Elder Mother. Now I’m not mad with you, but with those urchins and whoever told them to collect the berries. But anger can spill over on others who don’t deserve it. It’s even in my nickname, right?”

The bush stopped shivering, somehow adopting a listening posture, its branches still tense and alert.

“First rule: you never tell them where I planted and will now replant the berry. They never find out that I had mortal history with that house, so my family stays anonymous. Otherwise I’m picking up an ax tonight.”

“I would never betray the living to night-kin monsters!” Elder Mother snarled. “Nor to those who would try to use them, those new fools in the hospitals. Your rule is moot!”

“Oh good, you’re already such a considerate person. Then I can use my ax threat for the second demand: I stay knit the way you knit me at Uxbridge, stronger than I was before.”

The result was slow, dry, (dare I say) wooden laughter from an old mouth that sounded like it had about five teeth. I had no doubt that if this was the transformed spirit of a woman who had lived long ago, in life that woman had been a true black-cats-and-broomsticks witch.

“Foolish boy! You will keep my mark in your flesh, yes you will! You will need it to do all the planting that I will demand of you! I will reknit your body with needles of the oldest, darkest wood to make your hard and strong – because my mule should be hard and strong! And I will whip my mule when he is slow!”

I stared for a moment, surprised yet again, and then I scowled. “You’re going to make it slow and painful, aren’t you?”

I half-perceived a grin in the thicket of barren branches.

“Fine. Apart from replanting, what’s the extra debt?”

“One thousand trees, ,” Elder Mother said.

We stared at each other. I was frozen with one eyebrow raised.

“… well, do you agree?”

“What’s the time limit?” I asked.

“You’ll probably die before you get halfway, so I didn’t bother with a time limit.” Elder Mother then chuckled. “I’m bringing out my needles now, wood that your ancestors grew before the Romans came over the hills. You must lie under this bush away from the open space – find a stick so you don’t scream too loudly.”

I didn’t move an inch. “Give me a damn time limit. I’m finding a way out of this. And I won’t be your mule forever.”

“Heh heh,” she replied evilly. “I think not. Because you’ll die first.”

“Give. Me. A. Time. Limit. You. Wooden. Cunt.”

I perceived narrowing eyes, in my vague reconstruction of a face from the bush’s interlocked branches.

“Your age,” she finally said. “From birth, not from your change.”

“So thirty years. Thank you.” I laid down and rolled over, not bothering with a stick. “I apologize in advance for the language you are about to hear.”

Chapter 57: The Perfect Vow

Image credits: Katarighe, Zarateman, Ross, Vincent van Gogh

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